May 2013
6 posts
Change
After our casual “goodnight” we both rolled over and turned off the lights.
As I desperately tried to calm my racing brain and shut my weary eyes,
I couldn’t help but look out the half open window at the cloudy night sky and realize how temporary this all is.
Summer. Glorious, magnificent summer- a time of freedom and empty schedules
For me, it has always, always, meant...
Today
-pretty much defined how summers going to go I think.
Sleeping in and waking up at my bestfriends house,
(Which I call my own)
Going out to lunch with the friends I call family,
(Eph meg em)
Then rushing to the lake to swim and lay out with friends I’ve had through high school, talking about college and how great of a community we’ve had together.
And then losing track of time...
Morality
Just a few thoughts as I wait to get a manicure-
What determines a mans morality ?
Like, my goodness, I thought it was God- absolutely, because the closer I am to Him the more right I want to do.
And then another explanation appeared beside it- our love for others. Because we love so-and-so or whomever, we choose to put our selves aside, and in choosing to be selfless, we, by fault,...
Summer's Begun!
And all the the late nights spent at our favorite concerts,
Standing much too close to a sea of strangers
And screaming lyrics to the songs that describe our lives
And the 1am trips to steak and shake
Where everything is 10 times funnier
,
Because we are slap happy and full of sugar
(and Michaellas filter disappeared much too long ago)
All the days spent by the lake
Pushing eachother...
Last day of school
- started out the same as last years.
Our class crowded the CHS parking lot an hour before school began
And shared breakfast while we talked and played old country music from our cars.
First hour was rough. Mrs Neff started crying while reading our last psalm.
The rest of the hour was spent signing eachothers yearbooks and talking about how unreal it all seemed.
Second and third hour were...
Five more days
Alright so it’s finally beginning to hit me.
We have five days left of school.
Five. Days.
One more Monday to get up early and try to keep my eyes open during class
One more Tuesday to play piano in the stairwell during fourth hour
One more Wednesday to eat outside with friends
One more Thursday to ask Mr Griffith if I can go to foods and bake cakes for an hour
One more Friday to have...
April 2013
11 posts
Alright so maybe I’m being silly
But I’m actually quit nervous about tomorrow, this weekend
I’m going on an all girls retreat, and I’m leading a small group and giving part of my testimony one night.
Unfortunately, it’s the hard part of my testimony.. The one that sometimes makes me feel uncomfortable
And I’m nervous that as I share with those girls how my...
to be honest, today has been wearisome.
You could ask me why, but I probably couldn’t point out many specifics
I would probably just look at you and sigh, and quietly go over a little list of petty things that I have let get to me- assignments due soon, trips to figure out, work to schedule, money to turn in, and lack of sleep.
Plus, with 12 days of left of school, frankly...
On days like this, I cant help but smile and walk around somewhere outside
apprehensive of the fact that this season is so short, so delicate.
Dandelions have appeared everywhere, looking like little drops of sunshine that were showered upon the refreshed grass as the sun drew closer to our part of the Earth.
The sky looks bluer, clearer, and higher up,
urging us to look deeper, harder, and...
I don’t know why everything seems so silly and shallow and melodramatic today.
But seriously. Everyone/Everything/Even Myself is getting on my nerves right now.
BLEHHHHHH
A Victim of Convenience: I did the best favor I... →
victim-of-convenience:
I did the best favor I could think of for the man that told me the backs of my eyelids must shame the walls of the world’s great galleries -I didn’t fall in love with him not by that knee-jerk definition that sets off alarms on biological clocks sends every shadow-spooked soul afraid to sit alone…
It’s nights like this where I can look back and remember with perfect clarity the way you and I were bestfriends.
You would dress me up in girl clothes, which I dreaded,
And I would make you crawl around in the dirt with me and collect roley Poleys from our backyard.
We played make believe under our willow tree,
And oh how we cried when dad cut those branches so that they didn’t...
Pensive Thoughts For The Night
I was starting to relax and get pretty into my book when the wind started howling outside.
I looked out, it was only 6:45, not time yet.
The sun wasn’t setting.
I still had 15 more minuets.
And yet, as my mind started screening the page again,I started feeling that gentle nudging, urging me that it was time to go.
I ignored it for while, but then the wind got unbearably loud and I...
Wake up Call
Alright seriously though, Chapel today was awesome. It is so refreshing to remember that most of our stress is not a matter of procrastinating and work thrown on us, its a heart problem, its the fact that we unconsciously seek out our worth and acceptance in those things that cause us stress. What a beautiful realization, because that changes the answer to the problem completely. We need to learn...
Ok for real though , something I’ve been wondering since 5th grade,
Why did Yankee Doodle yank a feather from his hat and call it macaroni?
Is there an answer to this?
So it was a long night and a busy morning.
A heavy dinner, tiring dance, interesting after-party, ihop breakfast, and 5 cups of coffee later- I got ready to help lead worship for two services, go to mass, then head to work.
The middle school service went well for the most part. We had some trouble setting up, my keyboard was clangy sounding, The pedal did opposite of what it was suppose to do...
March 2013
27 posts
Can words describe what happened tonight ???
I ordered my usual and sat down at the table for two as I nervously checked my phone for the time.
3:00.
I said a silent prayer and thanked Jesus for his sacrifice on this Good Friday and then he walked in.
We exchanged warm smiles and gentle greetings and decided to go next door, where it wasn’t so crowded.
He tapped his fingers nervously on the table and looked down when I asked him what he...
It’s amazing that,
Though my heart is breaking,
My spirit is still overflowing with thankfulness, joy, and peace
Our God is good,
I do not know what I would do without His love
Glory be to Him forever and ever
“But I said to you, “Have no dread or fear of them. The Lord, your God, who goes before you, is the one who will fight for you, just as he acted with you before your very eyes in Egypt, as well as in the wilderness, where you saw how The Lord your God, carried you, as one carries his own child, all along your journey until you arrived at this place.” -Deuteronomy 1:29-32
...
Less than a Week away
i cant believe this.
Tonight is my last RCIA class, my first confession
less than a week before I receive my first communion and officially become Catholic.
Can it only be two years ago that I was sitting in the church, having Bible studies with my prayer group, wishing whole heartily that i could participate in the religion the way they could?
only two years ago that I sat desperately...
The key to life is learning how to receive love.
It’s so very easy to accept that others deserve to be loved, but for some reason we find it difficult to believe we deserve it too. It doesn’t make sense. Either we all do or none of us do. And yet, we live as if that’s not true.
We need to be filled up before we can go out. We first must learn how to receive Gods love before...
Alright so I might kill someone.
That’s all for today.
The Body
So, on Friday nights, instead of partying, drinking, or gossiping
We decided to talk about God. For hours.
We discussed theology, shared experiences, prayed over eachother
Until our hearts were so filled with a spirit of peace that songs of praise overflowed from our lips
And we sang to Jesus there, together
Untied by our love of Christ and our hearts desire to bring glory to Him.
As I was...
Katie bro,
Have I ever told you how much I love you?
Seriously. I could just write a novel about you. I probably will one day.
Never change.
☺👍❤
Much better. Thank you. Continue on.
Ephraim, you posting that little video after me posting my long sentimental post really makes me want to give you a virtual slap. So there ya go. [!!!!]. That was it.
I can not unwrap my mind from this sickening perspective,
Or I guess, realization,
Of how selfish we are.
We gorge ourselves daily on knowledge, intelligence, food, drink, social acceptance, appearance-
Until we become utterly engrossed in self-addiction.
Do we realize this?
We get up. Fix our appearance. Make ourselves some coffee. Listen to our favorite music on the way to school. Learn,...
You’ve created In me a dreamer
But they say dreamers often lie
Painting pictures of broken watches and bravely told martyrs
Is just a deceitful way to say you and I
Wow. The place I have been imagining since I was in 6th grade became real this weekend.
I was nervous, unbearably anxious as we made our way down to Jackson.
What if I didn’t like it? What if people were weird? What if I liked it too much?
Because let’s face it, it’s been set in stone that I will go there ever since I received that scholarship.
But as my bestfriend and I...
Alright, seriously though, does it ever strike anyone else as odd that everyone in the universe,
I mean, EVERYONE
(Hindus, Muslims, Buddhists..)
Is just searching, in one way or another, for a way to get to heaven?
I think purpose fuels people’s lives. As strong as the desire of hunger, the gut-wrenching ache of thirst,
So is the necessity of purpose.
It fuels everything.
It’s a very, very dangerous thing
To give feelings too much a voice.
Work
I think we are to this age where philosophical questions and profound intellectual ideas about ourselves and the world around us begin to dominate our conversations and envelop our minds.
Now, i think, Sometimes it’s nice to drink coffee and do something as meticulous as folding, entering, and selling clothes.
Each and every day you continue to surprise me.
You have the most beautiful spirit,
And I can’t express how deeply I enjoy who you are and who you are becoming.
What a wonderful person to walk through life with.
Above All
We looked around as Mrs Sandy called out the name we have long dreaded- South West.
No one wanted to go. No one raised there hands.
They needed three more.
So, reluctantly we looked at eachother and then simultaneously lifted our hands, and so that was that.
We went back.
I started the morning raking, quietly humming “above all powers..above all thrones”
And then I saw her, a...
I keep on having this flashback
Of us last year, laying in your bed
Whispering “is change inevitable?”
And you saying “maybe, but we can fight it”
For some reason, every time I remember I get the most uneasy feeling In my stomach, and the unexplainable urge to ask you if you remember it too.
(Instead I’ll just wince and sigh and try to busy my mind)
So today,
My eyes were described as the exact color of the riverbeds in Norway
And also the exact color of a dum dum sucker.
Well, that describes the different types of boys at CHS pretty accurately.
- that, AND I reallllyyy don’t want to drive in this snow blizzard of a night to class at 7.
So if anyone wants to go in my place, please, feel free to let me know
Hey guys
It’s funny how we are all perfectly and content right now
And we are about to leave!
Like, “I just figured out how to like highschool!” -and we are graduating.
Hope that’s not a statement about how life’s going to be
*on death bed*
(I finally figured it out)
Just food for thought.
Emotions are such a funny thing.
Half the time they don’t make sense.
And the other half you are wishing they didn’t.
Sitting here, in this coffee shop,
(Drinking chai tea while doing my bible devotions)
I realize something.
In 5 months I will probably be doing this exact same thing, in a completely other state.
I’ll be starting to settle into my dorm, my college. Maybe I’ll have a few friends by then. (Maybe not).
I’ll be five and a half hours away from everything I know and love (and...
It was an unbearably cold morning,
Yesterday,
And something always feels dreadfully wrong about being awake before the sun has risen,
But as a sipped my hot tea and zipped my jacket up just a little but higher
I thought that maybe being up at 5:30 isn’t so bad after all.
Stepping into the parish is always the most awkward part,
As I looked around and smiled bashfully at the twenty...
February 2013
14 posts
Long live (this is nades long and to my team)
I’ll never forget what it felt like to have the sweat sting my skin,
My blood racing through my veins, creating a dull thud in my ears,
Hearing the all-to-familiar sound of squeaky shoes on a shiny gym floor,
And watching my teammates give more than I thought they had in them just to put one more point on the board.
When I looked at the clock and the scoreboard during the last quarter, I knew...
Inspired
Alright so this absolutely broke my heart today:
One of my very favorite freshmen confided In me for the first time.
She’s reserved about her personal life, but in general she’s always been the life of the scene- she’s funny, outgoing, sweet natured, beautiful, endearing.
I always assumed she was the most popular girl in her grade, that all the guys liked her.
Today she told...
“Love is a smoke raised with the fume of sighs;
Being purged; a fire sparkling...”
– Romeo and Juliet, Shakespeare
There is something that feels very right about sitting by a fireplace
Reading Romeo and Juliet
Under a dim light, while drinking hot tea.
Hm.
Setting the table at a friends house tonight,
The smell of food cooking on the stove,
And mindless chatter as we prepared for dinner,
Brought me back to what seems like forever ago…
The four of us, I would cook (always)
Mom would set the table,
And dad would do the dishes.
Kenzie..well..she would usually entertain us with her stories of things that happened at school that day.
“put the napkins...
